Thursday, April 1, 2010

Iced Out: The 10 Worst Grills Of All Time

We thought that mall kiosks selling knock-off grills was enough to put an end to the trend, at least in terms of the pop culture world at large, but earlier this week Lady Gaga proved this phenomenon has yet to completely fall off. She tweeted a picture of her early birthday present: a shiny, gold, vampire-shaped grill.
Given that people find Gaga so inspiring they'll dress their pets in her image, we're concerned the trend may be on the uptick. In hopes of preventing that horrible, horrible idea, here's a collection of the worst grills we've seen from unlikely grill converts, ranging from Travis Barker, to Brooke Hogan, and of course Paul Wall. Plus, if you need real-life evidence, there's the normal folks wearing grills section in which we berate the people we have never met based on their unfortunate life choices.

Paul Wall, grill master extraordinaire. Just call him George Foreman. He's been in the grill game since he was 17. You think he fell off with his rapping? He's just been busy making $30,000 grills for the rich and famous.



Travis Barker, no matter how many rappers you've rock remixed, no matter how many rap video cameos you have on your resume, it is still an atrocity that you have even two gold caps in your mouth.



Brooke Hogan will do anything to get attention. Her grill, made by Paul Wall (who else?), is an award winner. Here she is at the Teen Choice Awards where she was actually bestowed with the honor of "Choice Grill" award, the only award she has ever won. Go Brooke!



Avenged Sevenfold's lead singer M. Shadows believes that even the metal-core scene has room for some mouth jewels. The rest of the metal world angrily shake their fists and do something that's actually metal, like...anything.



Chromeo's P-Thugg probably installed his grill to better the duo's chances at getting more groupies to give that bonafied lovin'.



Goldie is taking his namesake to the next level these days, in his efforts to promote Cash4Gold. But rest assured, the drum n' bass DJ isn't selling his off just yet, though he probably would have if not for the fat check he'll get for appearing in the Cash4Gold TV commercials.



Marilyn Manson added the accessory to his mouth, but its glitz factor doesn't have the same effect. He actually looks more like an average dude...



Johnny Depp kept his gold caps in after playing pirate as Jack Sparrow. Ok, yeah, this one is kinda dreamy.



Kendra Wilkinson, former Playboy Girl Next Door and now star of her own reality show, also has a grill made by the baller standing next to her, Johnny Dang.


If these grills haven't turned you off enough, maybe you're still thinking, "hey, maybe it's cute if I get a pink grill for my girl with our initials in it." First of all, you're dead wrong. And second, here are some of the worst looking grills as seen on regular people just like you and me. Don't let this be you.

Guy: "I'm so stoked for the Avenged Sevenfold show tonight." Girl: "Me too! We get to wear our grills just like our idol!" Guy: "Word. If only they made grills for my gauged ears."



Teen girls shouldn't want grills or facial hair and yet they've dolled themselves up with both. Oh, and they probably shouldn't be toting guns either. We must assume they've taken DJ Drama's Gangsta Grillz to the literal level, and this is the cover for their first mixtape.



The best part of having a grill when you're a red-head is that people calm down about how pale you are because your mouth is so damn icy. Good technique, kid. Maybe you should grow your hair longer too.



Honestly, this girl on the left does not look comfortable. Before their self-directed photo shoot the girl on the right probably slapped the one on the left when she complained that her grill might be a bit too big for her mouth. We're glad if she did. This photo came out great, ladies.



You know this type. He's got that wild look in his eyes. The one that says, "Yo, blood, I got my Fast and the Furious t-shirt on, a stack of Benjamins, and I am full on reppin' with my gang sign! Time to roll to the club and make it rain on the honies." So. Glad. We're not friends.


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